The Diary of Uzumaki Miyako
by Witka
Summary: AU The Yondaime's wife kept a diary about her marriage to the Hokage of Konoha and her struggle to fit into a strange village. Because sometimes love follows marriage. Written before chapter 367, not compliant with chapter 367!
1. February

Here is a slightly revised first chapter of my story. Looking back it just seemed far too skimpy, even for a story with such shorts chapters already. So I expanded it a bit, I hope you all like it.

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February 8th – Sunny

How does one start a diary? I'm not sure, but I suppose I should introduce myself, even if it just to a book. My name is Uzumaki Miyako, but soon I will be Kazama Miyako, since today is the day I get married to Kazama Arashi, Yondaime Hokage of Konohagakure village. I came from a small country next to Wind and Fire country named Fox country. There I was miko at the great shrine to the great fox spirit which protects our country. My brother, Kohaku nisama the prince of Fox Country decided that I should marry the Hokage of Hidden Leaf to strengthen the relationships between Fox and Fire.

So today I am to be wed to Arashi-san. He seems like an honorable man, and he has been kind all of the times I met him, but I must confess I am nervous. I wonder if all brides are this nervous on the morning of their wedding? What is Arashi-san is displeased with me?

I mustn't think like that. Konohagakure is to be my new home, and Arashi-san is to be my husband. I will do all I can to be a good wife so that I will not bring dishonor on my husband or my family back home. I miss them terribly, but Kohaku-nisama has promised to write to me, and I hope Arashi-san would not be against me visiting my family.

I should stop writing now, the attending ladies have come to help me finish my preparations for the ceremony. The next time I write here I will be a wife.

February 9th – Sunny

Today is my fist day as a wife. The wedding was very nice, but there were so many people there I didn't know. I must admit I had a hard time keeping them all straight, since everything was going so fast. However so far Arashi-san seems pleased with me, and for that I am glad.

The wedding night was, well, it was interesting. I'm blushing as I speak this and I'm afraid I wouldn't be able to go into greater detail really. It was different though, than what I had been told to expect. Arashi-san was very thoughtful.

February 18 - Sunny

It always seems to be sunny in this village, such a change from home. It's sunny at home too, but we get more rain, I suppose because we're closer to water than the shinobi village is. I asked Arashi-san about why it is always sunny here. He laughed lightly and told me that the weather must be as enraptured with me as the rest of the village is and is trying to show me it's best face.

Arashi-san is a very kind man, and I can tell how much his people love and respect him. They talk about him the same way people back home talked about Kohaku-nisama. I must admit, I am coming to feel a certain fondness for him as well, he's always very kind to me, even if I have a hard time adjusting to life in a shinobi village. There are so many strange things here that I've never seen before, Fox Country is too small for a Hidden Village after all.

I am content with my new home and my husband, but I must admit that my homesickness has not disappeared. I still miss my country and my family very much, but I am working to be strong. Everyone here is so strong that it makes me want to be strong too. So I've decided that even if I miss my homeland, I will not cry about it.


	2. March

Author's Notes: Alright, here's the next chapter. These chapters will be going by months, so some will be longer than others, and some will be much shorter. Anyway here is the second chapter and I hope you'll enjoy it. Remember to give feedback! If you like it or you hate it, let me know.

Disclaimer: I own nothing Naruto-ish. Those are Kishimoto-sensei's and I'm sure they're making him a rich man.

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March 1st - Cloudy 

I wish there was another woman I could talk to here. There are many nice women here, and everyone has been very friendly with me. But most of the women I meet are kunoichi, and though I've tried to speak with them, the conversations don't go very far. I don't know much about jutsus or weapons, and I'm afraid I would bore them with my questions. Also, I would be afraid to ask them the questions that plague me, because I wouldn't to cause Arashi-san any embarrassment.

So I'm figuring things out as I go, and Arashi-san has been very patient with me as I learn the household chores. He says he doesn't even mind when I burn the dinner, saying that he's eaten worse on his missions. I know he means it as a joke, trying to ease my discomfort but I feel even worse when he does so. I want very much to be a good wife for him, yet I cannot even prepare a proper meal for him when he comes in at night. My training as a miko is not very useful when it comes to being a wife it seems.

I should go and start dinner, Arashi-san will be home in a few hours. Hopefully this time I won't burn it, if I do we'll probably have to go out for ramen again.

March 12th - Rainy

It's finally raining, and Arashi-san that it's the start of the rainy season so I can expect more rain in the coming weeks. Tonight is the full moon, I can tell by the calender, even if I will be unable to see it. Back home they will be having the Ceremony of the Full Moon to honor the Great Fox Spirit. I hope the younger mikos do a good job. I will burn some incense tonight and offer my prayers, after I have eaten with Arashi-san. He spends most of his evening in his study anyway, the work of a Hokage is never done.

I must admit it is lonely sometimes, when he's always busy with his work and I am left alone. However I know he has much he needs to take care of, and I can't be selfish of his attention when he has an entire village to care for.

I think I shall take the long path when I go shopping this afternoon. The rain is so falling so gently I want to enjoy it, since this is the first time I've seen rain in Konoha.

March 24th - Rainy

I caught a cold walking in the rain the other day. I've been in bed the past two days, and Arashi-san has been very sweet about it. He just asked why I felt the need to go walking in the rain, and he laughed when I told him I wanted to enjoy it since it was the first time I'd seen it rain here. He kissed me on the forehead and then brought me a cup of tea. When he's home he sits by the bed with me and talks, sometimes we play games like shogi or go, even though I'm not very good at them.

It's been wonderful, having Arashi-san spend so much time with me lately. I don't feel as lonely when he's around, and when he smiles at him I feel warm. I enjoy sitting with him, talking or just watching as he reads one of the dozen scrolls that he always has to look over. It feels like we're actually husband and wife when we sit like this, even if I am sniffling the entire time.

However, this just makes the times he isn't here that much more lonesome. I don't understand this feeling in my chest when I see him leave in the morning to go to the Hokage Tower. This quiet pain, it leaves me with the feeling that I want him to stay with me, what is it? I don't think it's just loneliness anymore.


	3. April

Author's notes: Well here's the next chapter, and you won't believe all the revisions it went through. Mainly cause I felt it was way too short so I worked to expand it a bit. I think it worked. I probably would have posted this last night, had I not been so fried after work, packing, and finishing the chapter. However the story is flowing really well, and since I'll be without net most of this weekend, so that will give me time to dedicate to it.

**Cliquequeen37: **I'm glad you think it's original, I am trying to do something a little different here. I hope you continue to enjoy it!

**UzumakiPhoenix & Muscat-Dunghill: **Thank you and trust me, we have only begun to touch the tip of the sacchrine sweetness, so there will be much more to come!

**Tentenrox: **Thank you for the review, hope you continue to enjoy the story.

**Daisaigai Katja:** Thank you for the review. I know the pacing of the story is paced a bit fast, and part of that is because I was in a rush to get to the end. I've already written out the conclusion of the story, so now it's mainly filling in the gaps. Another reason I chose to do it by months is that it's hard to update a diary everyday and have it be interesting, so I'm trying to stick to the high points, the memorable things that she would want to put down on paper. Also it helps to show how more dependent on the diary as an outlet for her emotions.

**Akume: **Well that is an interesting point you mentioned about River Country, and I work that in with another story I have in mind. But Fox Country is not a part of River Country. How I see it in my head is that Fox Country is a fairly small country, big enough for one main city which is the capital, maybe two or three towns and several villages. Why it would be so important that there would be arranged marriages and the such is that it is very agrarian, pretty much a bread basket country. They grow a lot of food and it's in a very fertile and strategic position.

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April 1st - Sunny

I'm sorry I have been unable to update recently. Things have gotten quite hectic in the village, and as the Hokage's wife I have been very busy. Arashi-san says that the village is gong to war with another village, Hidden Village of Clouds he said.. I can tell the thought pains him, and he's much tenser than he's been before. He spends almost all of his time at the Hokage tower now, in meetings with Sarutobi-sama, the council and other important people. He rarely even makes it home for dinner anymore.

I try to be cheerful when he comes home, because I can see the stress all of this has put on him. I want him to have a smiling face and a place where he can forget about all of the fighting for a little while. Since I can't go and fight any battles, or end the war, but if I can help ease some of Arashi-san's heavy burden, I will do that.

I've never witnessed a war before, in Fox Country everything was always so peaceful. The only trouble I remember Kohaku-nisama ever mentioning were some bandits that would plague the trade routes. And of course all of the political manuevering that had to be done to keep everyone would who swallow our country at bay.

This is on a different level than those concerns, and I'm more a part of it now than I was before. Yet even knowing that, I often hopelessly out of my depths. Especially since what I can do is so limited, it just never seems to be enough.

April 10th - Cloudy

I've taken to visiting the families of the fallen shinobi. I think sometimes it helps them to see the Hokage's wife, to know that their leader cares so much for them. I don't like it when I have to inform them of a loved one's passing. I say prayers for them every night when I pray before my small alter before retiring to bed. An I think of them at night when I'm trying to sleep next to Arashi-san. Every time I see a family to tell them that they've lost a loved one, I feel the reality of all of this become even clearer to me.

Arashi-san doesn't like me going around unescorted these days. He says that since I am his wife I will be a target of enemy shinobi who would wish to hurt him by killing me. He assigned his former student to watch over me, even after I protested that it was unnecessary. I am sure Hatake-san is a very capable shinobi, but he is still so young, it doesn't seem right that he should be protecting me when I'm an adult. He works hard to act strong and unaffected by everything, that sometimes I can't bring myself to watch him. When he thinks I can't see him, he gets such a sad look in his eye, that sometimes I just wish I could hug him, to ease some of the sadness. I can't though, I don't think Hatake-san is the sort of person who would appreciate something like that, and even if he did accept it, I know that a simple hug would not be enough to heal the scars he is carrying around with him. All the same, I want to try and ease the sadness I see in his eyes, and in Arashi-san's eyes as well.

April 15th - Breezy

With all of this talk of wars and battles, it's easy to forget that the sakura trees have already started to bloom and that according to the religious calender, a new year has started. Were I still back home in the shrine, I would have been helping with the preparations for the April festival which would bestow the Fox Spirits blessing on the fields so that they would continue to be fertile.

Konoha however isn't a very religious village, so there aren't any celebrations here to attend. It makes me kind of sad, and it reminds me of how much I miss my old home. It doesn't do any good to dwell on it though, not when there are more important things I should be focusing on.

April 16th – Chilly

I asked Arashi-san to come and watch the blossoms with me last night. I was hoping it would distract him from everything that has been happening lately. He gave me that smile that makes my chest feel warm and said he would love to. We strolled among the sakura that night, the fragile flowers drifting around us almost like pink snow. As we walked he put his arm around me and kept me close to him as we stood there. I felt so peaceful in that moment, protected and there was this strange feeling in my chest that I couldn't quite explain. I wish that night could have lasted forever. I know that I will always hold this memory close to my heart, it was a perfect evening.

April 25th – Rainy

It's raining again, and even though it makes everything more dreary, I find myself cheered by it. So much so that I tried to go out and take a walk today, but Hatake-san stopped me, saying that I would catch a cold. He's probably right, I caught a dreadful one last time I went out in the rain, but it had been fun as well, since I'd had Arashi-san to myself for just a little while.

So instead of going out for a walk I opened one of the sliding doors and sat on the porch with some tea and watched it rain. The rain makes so many different sounds as it comes through the trees before hitting the ground, or the roof. It was soothing, enough so that I could forget the fact that Arashi-san has only been home for a couple of hours since that night we watched the sakura. He comes in after I've gone to bed, but sometimes I wake up when he comes in. Then he leaves before I wake up in the morning. Even though I know I have Hatake-san around, I find that I get lonely easily.

I miss Arashi-san, I miss him greatly I've come to realize. I enjoy his company, and he's someone I can talk to without feeling embarrassed or having to watch my words so carefully. When he's not here, it's just me and the silence of the house around me. I think that's why I enjoyed the rain, because with it around, it's not so quiet here.

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Well there is April for you, next is May and maybe an attack. Be prepared! And please review! Nothing makes me wanna finish this more than review that let me know what you think of it. 


	4. May

**Author's Notes: **Well here's the next chappie. I'm posting it now because I'm moving apartments this weekend, and odds are I won't have net till at least 1st, if not later depending on when we can get the wireless set up. An I'll be working a lot this weekend, so I wouldn't have time or energy to post this later. This chapter again received a heft dose of revision, some of which was hard to do, but it's all the better for it.

Now for some responses to my wonderful reviewers.

**UzumakiPhoenix:** Thank you for the review. I do kind of see the Hokage's wife as having some kind of official duty, or things they would have to go and do. After all, the Hokage is for all purposes the visible ruler of the village, so their spouse would be expected to do certain things.

**Muscat-Dunghill: **Thank you, you really did catch on to some of the stuff I'm incorporating into the story. I do see a lot of this as being a love story between Miyako and Arashi, albeit perhaps a bit of a tragic one since we know what his fate is. An yeah there are some shojo elements that I'm knowingly bringing in, so you can sort of expect some _almost_ cliched plot devices to come in. Almost cause I like putting my own spin on everything. An yeah, I've become tempted to maybe write Arashi's point of view on a lot of these events, but I'm not sure I would get around to it.

**SweetestXRazorblade: **Thank you for the review! Arashi is a sweety isn't he? An a hot manly man if I do say so myself. Hope you enjoy the future chapters!

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May 2nd - Cloudy 

The village is still at war, and all of the people look troubled and sad. Even worse is the feeling that I can do nothing to help. I cannot fight a war, nor can I heal the injured that return from their missions. All I can try to do is console those who loose loved ones, and even that seems pointless sometimes. I wish there was more I could do though, something that would ease some of the people's concerns.

I dislike feeling useless, but there seems to be nothing I can do to help. Arashi-san is busy all of the time, and when he comes he's so tired I just want to let him sleep. Some nights he has bad dreams. I'm sure the people of the village would be shocked to realize that their strong Hokage suffers from nightmares, but I know he has them. When they come, I sit up and run my fingers through his bright yellow hair, singing old songs from home. It calms him down and he settles down to sleep, looking much more peaceful. Maybe for now, knowing that I can help Arashi-san sleep more easily at night is enough.

May 8th - Windy

Hatake-san has been even more careful about watching me of late. He keeps looking off to the side when we go through town, as if there's something he sees or senses that I don't. There might be, but it's somewhat unnerving. I hope it's just paranoia, though I think some of it is starting to wear off on me. I kept looking around the grocery store today because I thought I felt someone watching me.

Even Arashi-san has seemed edgier of late. I'm not sure if it's from the stress of the war or something else, he won't mention what's bothering him. When I ask he just gives me this little smile and kisses me on top of the forehead like a child and tells me everything is all right. I wish he would share some of his troubles with me. I don't like seeing him look so tired and worried all of the time. I wonder if this is how Kohaku-nisama feels as a ruler. I realize that there is a lot of things I don't know, about both my husband and my brother, the weight they bear as the leader of their people.

May 14th

My hand won't stop shaking, my whole body won't stop shaking I'm sure my writing is a mess but I just can't help it. Everything is so frighteningly surreal right now, I think I'm still in shock. I was attacked today, when I was out with Hatake-san. I'd just gone to pick some flowers from a small field by the woods I'd found when I first came here. We hadn't even gone outside the walls of the village.

I didn't even know there was someone there until Hatake-san pushed me down and I could hear something whizzing over my head. I looked up and watched as Hatake-san and the other ninja started to fight, even though I couldn't really see some of what was going on. I think it's the first time I saw the reality of being a shinobi. It was frightening, and powerful as well.

I got back to my feet watching Hatake-san fight. I know he was a skilled shinobi, but it was hard to believe that when he still looked so young. Especially when the person he was fighting was older and must have had more experience than he did. I gasped when I saw the enemy ninja make a lightning rain down out of no where, engulfing Hatake-san. I tried to run forward, to make sure he was alright and I guess that drew the enemy's attention, because he turned towards me. I tried to move, but I could feel a cold dread wash over me as he darted forward towards me. I saw the knife flash in his hand, then several of them were flying towards me.

I thought for sure I was going to die then, I tried to tell my body to move, but it wouldn't listen to me. Before they could hit though, Hatake-san appeared in front of me, deflecting them. He had his other eye visible, the first time I can remember seeing it. It was red and swirling as he continued to challenge the enemy shinobi. While Hatake-san was fighting the first ninja, another one appeared and tried to help the first one. I know Hatake-san is strong, but I wasn't sure he'd be able to handle all of them by himself.

While Hatake-san was fighting the two of them, another one appeared. They were running towards me, and this time I knew Hatake-san wouldn't be able to make it in time. I turned and started to run away, but I'd barely gotten started when the ground seemed to reach up to trip me. I remember falling onto the ground, and then I remember knowing that I was going to die. I remember thinking how sad Arashi-san would be when he heard, and that I would miss him. Then out of no where I saw a bright yellow flash across my vision, and the ninja advancing on me fell over dead.

The flash moved again, going over and helping Hatake-san to get rid of the other ninjas. It wasn't until they were all dead that I saw who it was that had saved me. Arashi-san was helping Hatake-san up and hey were talking in low voices. I couldn't hear what that they were saying but when I tried to stand up, suddenly Arashi-san was there in front of me.

He picked me up like he was afraid I would break, asking me in the softest voice if I was alright. He had a strange look on his face, he looked like he was scared, but I've never Arashi-san afraid before. He said he was taking me to the medic-nins, even when I told him I was perfectly fine, just startled. He didn't listen, just carried me off to the medics and they told him that I was fine, just in shock. He hasn't left me alone the whole time since. He's in the kitchen making some tea now, and I can hear him coming back. It makes me feel warm inside, to know Arashi-san would be so concerned about me.

My hand isn't shaking anymore.

May 17th – Warm

Ever since the attack, I've been having nightmares. I'm always in the same field, surrounded by the flowers, except the flowers are all red and I know it's blood that's made them that color. As I look around more, I notice there are bodies on the ground all around me. I slowly start to walk towards the closest one and I see Hatake-san laying then. The body beyond his Rin-chan's, and by now I'm running, trying to escape this killing field. I stumble though, and I drop to my knees in front of Arashi-san's body. It's pale and covered in the most horrendous wounds, the blood turning his bright hair a dull red color. I screamed in the dream, lifting up Arashi-san's cold body and hugging it to me. I realize I'm crying when I hear someone laugh and I can't make anything out. It's a frightening laugh, and it continues forever, and then I hear the familiar sound of a kunai whizzing through the air towards me. I scream as I realize I'm going to do, and right before the kunai hits me, I wake up screaming.

I'm always shaking so hard when I wake up, I know my nightmares disturb Arashi-san, which I feel bad for because I know he needs his sleep. Every time I wake up from one of the nightmares, he'll sit up in the bed and hold me till I've calmed down. He's always telling me that I'm safe and that everything is going to be alright. He continues to hold me, even when we lay back down again. His arms are warm and strong, they make me feel protected. I wish he would hold me all the time.

May 23st - Windy

Arashi-san has become even more paranoid since the attack. He has Hatake-san stay around, even when I'm in the house. The boy's practically living with us, but it's not so bad. He's quiet and doesn't require real looking after, though he does find it amusing to watch me cooking. Or at least at my attempts to cook. Even after all of this time, I'm still not very good at it. However I think I'm getting better at it, at least I don't burn it as much as I did at first.

I must admit, I find it kind of bothersome to be watched so carefully. Sometimes I think Arashi-san and Hatake-san are afraid I'm gonna break if I'm handled roughly, and no matter what I say they won't believe me. I'm not fragile, I don't need to be sheltered and coddled. Even the nightmares are fading, or at least they don't come every night like they were at first. I know I'm not as strong as them, I'm not a shinobi, I can't fight and fly across the treetops like they can, but I don't want them to think of me as some fragile doll that has to be placed on the high shelf lest it fall and break.

I want to tell him that, I want to let Arashi-san know he doesn't need to treat me so cautiously but, sometimes when I look at him, I get a strange feeling. The way he treats me now, everything he does, it's feels kind of desperate. I think he must have been truly terrified I was going to be killed when those shinobi attacked. I know that if I insisted that I don't need the protection and the cautious handling he would just worry about me when he needs to focus on more important things. He has so much resting on his shoulders right now, the village expects so much of him. I don't want to add to his stress. Iwant him to be able to relax when he is at home, and I think it's easier for him to focus on what needs to be done for the village if he doesn't have to worry so much about my safety. He just wants me protected and safe. I guess I'll let it go for now, hopefully once this war is over, he'll stop seeing me as so fragile.

May 28th – Warm

I went to visit the medic-nins today. I've been having trouble sleeping, and not just because of the nightmares. I've had a strange restless feeling for a couple of days now, and it's keeping me up at night. I wanted to see if one of them could give me something to sleep easier. Hatake-san went with me of course, he's always with me now. I remember he looked surprised when the medic came in. Of course the girl looked just as surprised to see him as well.

She said her name was Hazusa Rin and she told me that she had been one of Arashi-san's students. When she said that I recognized her from the picture, though she had obviously grown a bit. She was very nice and polite, I felt so comfortable around her, like I hadn't really felt in awhile. She gave me some medicine she said I should make into tea that would help me sleep. She even stayed to talk for awhile and promised to come over for dinner one night next week. She said the reason we hadn't really met before this was because she was off on missions much of the time. Hazusa-san was very nice, I hope I'll get to see more of her.

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We had drama! Action! A sort of fight scene that was really hard to do. Please review and let me know what you though. Reviews are my lifeblood of inspiration! 

Next month is Rin's visit and going to the festival.


	5. June

The next chapter is here! Where we have them going to the festival and the introduction of a certain infamous little book. This chapter thankfully didn't have to have all the massive revisions the last two did. Just some little adjustments as I read through it. I've been suffering a bit of writer's slow down, which was complicated and cause by my move and lots of work. I'm trying to get back to writing a lot though.

Now then, onto responding to reviewers. Chapter 4 got the most reviews of any chapter, everyone seemed to love it, which makes me very happy!

**Ishimaru Miwa – **Thanks for the review. Everyone agrees it's pretty sweet, but then it is a bit of a romance, so I want it to be sweet. That'll balance out the parts towards the end. I'm glad you think the new perspective I'm trying to take on this is interesting.

**Zetsuke –** Your review really made my day when I got it. I'm so thrilled everyone is enjoying this so much. Don't worry, there's more to come.

**UzumakiPhoenix –** I'm glad to know I got the mood right. I was trying to make that chapter a little darker, to show the reality of the situation, that it can't always be so happy and sweet. An to try and show how a shinobi battle would seem to someone who had no idea what was going on. I hope you enjoy this chapter as well!

**SweetestXRazorblade –** Here's your new chapter dearie. An yes, Yondaime is very aware of how he feels for his wife. Of course she's kind of clueless, but then she's the heroine. I really should put in an aside somewhere that's an insight into Arashi's mind and feelings.

**Guiltshow –** I'm glad you enjoy the story, and that Miyako is realistic as Arashi's wife. As for when she'll get pregnant, you just have to figure 9 months back from Naruto's birthday. But I suppose I should point out that won't be for awhile yet. An I don't know how you could make the Yondaime a pansy, but he certainly isn't one to me. I'm trying to add in the people that Miyako would interact, and Kakashi and Rin were his students, so it would stand that they'd still be rather close to their teacher.

**Tentenrox** and **Scrutinize** – Thanks for the reviews! Here's a new chapter to enjoy. Dozo.

**Super Kai-chan** – I'm really pleased you're enjoying the story. I was trying to be original and unique, since I've read a lot of the Yondaime stories out there and I wanted to give my spin on it.

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June 1st – Hot

Today was the day Rin-chan came over to have dinner with us. I really do feel at ease with her, she didn't even mind that they food was, somewhat, burnt. Arashi-san always says he doesn't mind, but I'm sure he's just humoring me since he is my husband. It was nice to watch Arashi-san interact with his students in a less formal setting.

Rin-chan stayed and had tea with me after the meal, it gave us a chance to talk. Rin-chan is the first person I've met and been able to talk to who's close to my age. Most of the other women I run into or have to interact with are all older then me. At least they seem older than me most of the time. I'm sure I'm just too sensitive over it, but I can't help it sometimes.

It was a good day, and I hope Rin-chan will get to visit more, when she isn't on missions at least.

June 8th – Cloudy

Things have settled down a bit more now, Arashi-san called it a lull in battle, a time when both sides are regaining their breath and planning for their next move. The peace is nice, and everyone in the village is planning for the summer festival. Yet I can't help but think that though everyone acts like all is normal, they're holding their breaths and waiting for something.

Arashi-san still has Hatake-san following me around all the time. I've managed to get him to talk some more, and he's a good companion when I have to go shopping. I'm still not comfortable having someone so young as a bodyguard though. It's not that I doubt Hatake-san's skills, he proved them against the Cloud-nins, but he's still a child in a lot of ways, he should have a chance to be a child, he should be out playing with his friends, not trying to figure out new ways to kill people.

I wonder what kind of child Arashi-san and I would have. Arashi-san hasn't mentioned anything about children, but I'm sure he wants them. Every time we see children in the village his eyes light up and he gets a small, goofy smile on his face. I know that any children we have will probably become shinobi, just like their father. I wonder if they'll get to have childhoods, or if they'll be like Hatake-san and get too old too soon. I want them to play games, and listen to stories, preferably not ones about war and great ninja battles.

I suppose I shouldn't worry about children right now, I haven't been married to Arashi-san very long, and we are both still young, there's plenty of time to have children later. Besides, Arashi-san hasn't mentioned anything about wanting children yet, so I shouldn't worry about it right now.

June 15th – Sunny

The festival is today. I'm looking forward to it, since I haven't ever gotten to go to a festival just to have fun. As a miko I always had duties to perform, and ceremonies to attend and take part in. Of course as the Hokage's wife I will still have duties and ceremonies to go to, however Arashi-san said that once they were all done he would take me out to enjoy the festival. He even bought me a new yukata for it, a light green one with red foxes dancing on it. It reminds me of home, and I can feel the familiar homesickness return sharper than ever at the thought of my old home and family. Still it was a sweet gesture, and I can't wait to wear it in front of Arashi-san. He seemed so pleased when I told him I thought it was beautiful.

A yukata will be a nice change from all of the formal kimonos I will have to wear for most of the day. As the Hokage's wife I have to attend several ceremonies and meetings with the heads of the villages clans and other elders. There's also a memorial ceremony for the shinobi who fallen during the year. Overall, I must admit I don't understand much of what is going on, I know it's politics of the village and I don't really have to understand it all. Back home, Kohaku-niisama told me that my purpose as such functions was to be quiet and look graceful and elegant so that they would see me as a lady. I never really cared for that explanation, but there is little else I can do. Since I'm not a shinobi, or even a native member of the village, I'm not aware of a lot of the history that goes on between them, so I don't really have much I can add to the conversation. At least nothing that won't make me sound horribly ignorant.

One day I won't merely be decoration. I may never become a shinobi, but I won't just be something beautiful designed to sit by Arashi-san's side. I'll learn the way the village works so that I can be a better wife for him. I'm sure Hatake-san will be able to give me more information if I ask him, and if not, then I'll find a way to persuade him to help me. He keeps looking at this orange book in one of the shops when we go shopping, I could offer to buy it for him if he'll help me understand more of the village politics.

June 16th - Sunny

The festival was wonderful, I had a great time! The festivals in Konoha are very different from the ones in Fox Country. Arashi-san took me around to all of the booths and games they had. I got to try some interesting foods, and it was nice to just stroll with Arashi-san. Everyone we met seemed really happy, and for that I was glad.

One of the game stands had a stuffed fox as one of the prizes. I guess Arashi-san saw me looking at it because before I knew it, he was paying the vendor for a game. Of course simple festival game is far too easy for a shinobi like Arashi-san, but he won the fox anyway and gave it to me. I tried to thank him for the present, but he said that seeing me so happy was enough of a thanks. He had such a bright smile on his face, my heart seemed to flutter.

I have it sitting on my desk in the bedroom. I named him Aki-chan, since the orange color reminds me of fall. Like my yukata it reminds me of home. Maybe little things like this will help me to not miss Fox Country as much.

June 21nd - Sunny

I'm never buying Hatake-san any type of book again! I'm still so incredibly embarrassed about what happened earlier today when I went to the bookstore with him. I had told him I would buy him that orange book he kept looking at if he would help me understand the village politics a bit more. He was very excited at the idea, and he was almost eager to help me. I suppose it should have struck me as strange when he became so eager.

Now I know why he was so excited. I'm blushing even now as I remember what happened when I went into the bookstore. Hatake-san didn't go in with me, he said he would wait outside. I suppose I'm just too trusting, because looking back I think maybe I should have been suspicious then. When I handed the book to the clerk he gave me a shocked look, and I could tell he recognized me as the Hokage's wife and he seemed to be even more surprised to see me buying the book. I think it was then that I actually looked at the book. Just looking at the title made my face heat up, and flipping through it just made it even worse. Still, I'd promised Hatake-san I would buy it for him, so I went ahead and got anyway. I couldn't bring myself to break my word to him.

But I told him that I wouldn't buy him anymore books if they were going to be like that. The man who writes books like that can't be a very wholesome individual. I just hope Arashi-san doesn't find out about what happened. It's just too embarrassing, and it would be even worse if he found out and it spread around the village. I don't want to be an embarrassment to Arashi-san in front of the village.

June 24th – Windy

I don't think my humiliation will ever end, and all because of that orange book! Arashi-san came in today with a strange look on his face and asked me how I liked my new copy of Icha Icha Paradise. I know I must have acted like a complete idiot, my face felt so incredibly hot. I know I stuttered as I tried to explain that I wasn't buying the book for myself, that I had promised Hatake-san I would get it for him if he helped me with something.

It took me a minute to realize that Arashi-san seemed to be working very hard to suppress his grin. When I caught him grinning he just seemed to give up on fighting it and started laughing. He was laughing at me, I know he was! I'm kind of ashamed to say that I kind of lost my temper with him. I threw one of the couch pillows at him, which of course he caught and he was still grinning! I stormed out of the room then, going into the bedroom and slamming the door. I know it was a childish way to act, but I couldn't help it, I've just had enough of orange books. Never again.

June 27th – Hot

I've decided to forgive Arashi-san for laughing at me like that. It really was childish I know, but I was just so mad that he laughed about my embarrassment like that. He brought me flowers and even ordered my favorite take out to try and make it up to me. He even made Hatake-san apologize for tricking me by not telling me just what the book was like.

I didn't give in until he started pouting. He just looked so sad and cute at the same time. Then when I told him I forgave him, he looked so happy, he actually picked me up and twirled me around before he kissed me. For some reason it left me breathless and made my heart flutter rapidly in my chest.

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Next month will be the visit of one perverted toad hermit and more of Rin. Stay tuned and please keep reviewing! 


	6. July

Whooo. Ok I know it's been a super long time since I updated, and I will apologize for that. I didn't mean for it to take so long, but I'm trying to graduate from college and school has been seriously kicking me ass like you wouldn't believe. I've have this chapter sitting around for a bit an kinda... sorta... forgot about it.

Anyway, thank you everyone for being patient with me and leaving me lots of lovely reviews! I think I can safely say this is the longest chapter thus far, an I'm gonna try and work on more during Christmas break. The only problem is, the story-line wants to expand and grow beyond what my poor brain can handle now.

And to stave off all the reviewers who are going to ask whether I've read chapter 367, yes I have read it and I loved it. Now I will also point out I am one of the few fans who has never lost faith in Kishimoto-sensei after all he has done with Naruto thus far. However if you will kindly look at the original publishing date of this, you will notice it was started, far, far before chapter 367 when he hadn't even admitted that the Yondaime was Naruto's father. An I will also point out that this is my story and I feel no need to stop writing it or drastically change it because the canon now disagrees with me after I'd already started it.

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July 1st – Hot 

Summer is settling in, and it's incredibly hot here. I wonder if that's why they call it Fire Country, because everything feels like its on fire from the heat. I think summer is my least favorite of the seasons. The only thing I like about it are the cicadas, because they're noisy and distract me from the silence that can linger around the house.

I imagine Konoha will look beautiful in the fall, when all of the leaves start turning golden and red and falling to the ground. I like fall best because it's the season of the harvest and of the Fox Festival back home. Hopefully Arashi-san will allow me to visit home for the festival, since it is such a major event.

Arashi-san told me that his sensei would be coming to visit us soon. I'm excited and nervous at the same time. After all this is Arashi-san's sensei, certainly and important person and a powerful shinobi. Arashi-san speaks of him with such respect. This will be my first time meeting him. I'm sure he was at the wedding, but there were so many people there, and I was introduced to so many people I don't remember him.

Arashi-san told me I didn't have to worry about going to any great lengths to impress Jiraiya-sensei, but I want to make a good impression. I want to show that I'm being a good wife to Arashi-san. I can tell Arashi-san really cares for his sensei and respects him as well, which just makes me all the more nervous about embarrassing myself in front of him.

I've decided, I'm determined to do everything I can to show Jiraiya-sama that I am being a good wife to Arashi-san.

July 6th – Hot

I've been working for the past couple of days to improve my cooking. I tried to get Arashi-san to tell me what his sensei liked to eat, but he said it didn't matter, that Jiraiya-sama would eat anything made by a pretty girl. That didn't help at all. I tried to get Hatake-san to tell me, but he was too absorbed in that dirty book to help me. He said it wouldn't matter since I'd probably burn it anyway. They're both completely useless.

They just don't understand how much I want to make a good impression on Jiraiya-sama. I keep being told I really shouldn't worry so much, but none of them understand. I know I'll be judged by the impression I give. The entire village watches and judges me because I'm the Hokage's wife, and I need to show that I'm a good and capable wife since I'm not a real shinobi. I just don't want to give Arashi-san or Jiraiyai-sama a reason to be upset or ashamed of me.

July 10th – Cloudy

It's still hot here, and it even hotter when I'm in the kitchen trying to cook and not burn everything. I'm ready to give up now. I'm covered in rice dough and all of my attempts have ended in failure. Hatake-san said that they should consider sending my food the Cloud-nins since it was a lethal weapon. I'm afraid I lost my temper at that, though I suppose hitting him with the pot might have been a bit extreme. But I thought such an elite ninja would be able to dodge it honestly.

Hatake-san is still nursing the lump on his head, though I'm sure that Arashi-san will find it amusing when he hears about it. It's almost worth the extra effort it will take to clean up the kitchen now. I need to get that done before Arashi-san comes home, even though I'm not sure when that will be. He still has to spend a lot of time at the Hokage Tower working. He sacrifices so much for the village, more than they ever realize.

I still have 6 days until Jiraiya-sama arrives. I'm sure I can figure out something to do in that time.

July 15th – Sunny

Rin-chan came to visit me today. She said she had a break from her missions and wanted to come and visit with me. It was wonderful to see her again, I have missed seeing her since she's been so busy with missions lately. I told her about Jiraiya-sama's visit tomorrow and how I had wanted to cook something special but it wasn't turning out right. She just laughed and offered to help me make some simple dishes.

Rin-chan is the closest person I have to a friend here. Everyone else is always to careful and formal around me, afraid that I'll tell Arashi-san about what happened and get them into trouble. That, or they just ignore that I'm there all together, which is usually what happens if I've accompanied Arashi-san to a meeting.

Rin-chan is a nice girl though, and I like getting to know Arashi-san's students. He has a picture of them on his desk in the study, and the only one I haven't met is the boy wearing the goggles. I don't want to ask though, because when they're together, there's comraderie but there's also something else. Like some unspoken weight is hanging between them that they don't want to talk about. I don't want to be responsible for bringing up painful memories.

July 16th – Sunny

Jiraiya-sama came to visit today. I can still hear him and Arashi-san out on the porch drinking sake. It was an interesting visit to be sure. I didn't recognize him at first, but then Arashi-san never told me what he looked like, all I had to go on was the old picture of Arashi-san's genin team. And Jirayai-sama has aged a bit since then.

I had no idea Arashi-san's sensei was so, unique. Arashi-san introduced us and I tried to do my best to make a good impression. I did everything expected of a good host and then they started talking. I'm sure it had to do with the war, since it sounded like information about enemy movements and such.

Everything went smoothly until Jiraiya-sama noticed Hatake-san reading that book. He got this excited look on his face and asked if Hatake-san was a new fan of his great literary works. I remember choking on my tea when he said that. I can't believe that he's the writer of those, those perverted books! I had to stand up and leave the room to regain my composure. I heard Arashi-san lecturing him about not being such an open pervert while he's here and around his wife.

It wasn't long after that when Rin-chan came over. She agreed to go shopping with me and then help me with making dinner. Even if Jiraiya-sama was a pervert, I still felt the need to make a good impression. It was also a nice chance to spend more time with Rin-chan, since she'll probably leave for another mission soon. She said as a medic-nin, she's required to go on a lot of missions because there aren't many trained medic-nins available for field work. We were walking by one of the public bath houses when I saw something in the bushes. I thought it was a towel that had maybe blown away from one of the bathers but unfortunately it wasn't. Instead I found Jiraiya-sama crouching by one of the holes in the fence, trying to peek into the women's bathing area!

I still can't believe that someone who's supposed to be as revered as Jiraiya-sama would do something like peeking in a women's bathing area. Rin-chan saw him as well and yelled at him for peeking, which got everyone's attention and we had to leave Jiraiya-sama on his own to run from the angry women who were chasing him. Rin-chan told me not to worry about him too much, that he had a lot of experience running from angry women.

I told Arashi-san what happened while I was preparing dinner. He looked amused and frustrated at the same time. I guess this really wasn't the first time that Jiraiya-sama had been peeking at women. I suppose I should be thankful that Arashi-san didn't turn into a pervert like his teacher. They're still drinking sake, they'll probably be at it most of the night. All the same though, I think I'll wait to take a bath until tomorrow.

July 20th – Breezy

Things have been quiet since Jiraya-sama's visit. He's still in town and comes to see Arashi-san on most days. He even visits the house every so often, usually when Arashi-san is around but sometimes he comes when it's just me. He usually manages to be a bit less of a pervert now, but I'm sure that's because Arashi-san has warned him about acting in such a perverted way around.

Rin-chan's gone on another mission, so I just have Arashi-san and Hatake-san for company now. It's lonely, but it's something I'm slowly becoming used to. Kohaku-nisama sends me letters, I got a letter from him yesterday in fact. It felt good to hear about home and the people there.

There have been a lot of meetings lately, Arashi-san has been meeting with the heads of the various clans. I've gone with him when he's gone to the clan compounds to meet with them, since it is my duty as the Hokage's wife. I've come to know a lot of the wives of the clan heads, they're good, respectable women and I enjoy their company, but I don't always feel comfortable there. I'll listen to them talk about missions and training and things related to the clan and I feel slightly left out. I'm afraid to speak for fear of saying something foolish that would embarrass Arashi-san or myself, so I tend to stay quiet.

I get the impression that a lot of them see me as being weak, like I'm some kind of frail, wilting flower that needs careful care. I know I don't have a shinobi's strength, so in comparison to them, I am weak. Yet there's more to it than that. What worries me most, is that Arashi-san may come to see me in the same way.

July 27th – Hot

It's been incredibly hot here lately, I haven't had the energy to write in here because of it. Formal kimonos are beautiful and nice, but they're unbearably hot and heavy, especially in the humid weather we've been having here of late. An there have been even more meetings I've had to attend to with Arashi-san, so I've had to be in formal wear almost all the time. Arashi-san has told me that I don't have to dress so nicely when I go with him, but he's a man, he doesn't understand how these things work. As his wife I have to portray a certain image, an image of what the people expect the Hokage's wife to be like. Even if it's troublesome, it is something I've come to accept as a part of my life as a wife.

Still, Arashi-san told me to take it easy today, that I didn't have to go with him to any events. Evidently I looked like I was about to faint yesterday from the heat and he doesn't want to risk my health. I tried to tell him I was fine, would be fine, but he just pressed a finger against my lips and told me that it would be easier for him to focus on his job if he wasn't worrying about my health. Then he leaned down and kissed me lightly. It's amazing how just a simple gesture by him can completely rob me of breath.

July 30th – Humid

Arashi-san took me out for dinner this evening. It was quite unexpected really, since I had expected him to come home late as usual. He just appeared before me and handed me a carnation and then he literally swept me off my feet and carried me to the restaurant. It was very romantic, even if we were jumping over rooftops. Dinner was quiet and lovely, one of the first in a long time where it was just the two of us without anyone else around, or any pressing issues that we needed to talk about. It was wonderful, and afterwards Arashi-san told me he had something he wanted to show me.

He led me through the village and up to a clearing on top of the monument with the carved heads. It was a perfect grassy clearing,but it still got shade from the leaves of all of the trees. Up there, you can see all of the village laid out before you. It was positively breathtaking, and I told Arashi-san that. He smiled and took my hand, saying that he came here when he needed to remember what his job was really about. He said he could look down at all the houses in the village and remember that he was fighting to protect them, to make sure they were safe and happy. He turned and smiled at me, and I could feel my breath catch in my throat. He looked so handsome like that, and my chest got that familiar tight feeling in it that I've started getting when Arashi-san looks at me. He truly is a great man, kind, gentle, compassionate, strong, protective, handsome and his heart is so big, he loves the entire village and everyone in it. I truly am lucky to have a husband like Arashi-san. He leaned in and kissed me then, and my heart gave a flutter in my chest as I felt the incredible tenderness in it. I am so very lucky to have a man like Arashi-san for a husband.

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There you have it. Next month will be a new attack and I'm not sure what else. 


	7. August

Waah, totally not dead! Feels like I should be at some times but I'm not. My sincerest apologies for the horrendously long time it took to get this chapter out. It was a very hard chapter to write, and as you will notice its kinda long, maybe the longest chapter yet. I think it really got bogged down because there was so much to do, but it was also hard to move between the different scenes.

Plus I just haven't been inspired as much, an I also think I'm hampered by the fact that I just have a very very loose outline of what exactly is happening in each month and so I get stuck on what else to put in.

Well, I hope you all enjoy the chapter, and any reviews and constructive criticism are greatly appreciated. I also apologize if some of the technical details are a little rough, I didn't so my normal proof read before posting.

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August 3rd – Humid

Things have been so deceptively peaceful of late. Instead of this making the people's minds and hearts easier, it seems there's even more tension. I have a feeling there is something Arashi-san isn't telling me, something that all of the shinobi sense. I can sense it to, at least a little bit. It reminds me of the calm that would come before a big storm swept in off the ocean back home. Everything seemed perfect, but there was a feeling in the air, like something was going to happen. That's what it feels like here, at this moment.

Hatake-san has been staying very close to me, and it makes me glad. It makes me feel safe to have him around when Arashi-san is busy, even if he still just a child. There are more ninja in the village now, it seems they're not going our for new missions when they come back from their current ones. It's like everyone is preparing for something. It's making the air oppressive and heavy.

I went to the local shrine today to pray to the kami there. I still pray to the Great Fox Spirit, but I thought that praying to the local kami would be good. I prayed that he would keep those in the village safe and protect them against whatever is coming. I can tell Hatake-san thought it was silly to pray, shinobi are not a very religious group of people. Yet back home everyone prayed to the fox spirits for aid and protection and the blessing of their children. After so many years serving as a miko, I do not think I could give up the belief in prayer. Even if Hatake-san doesn't believe in it, it has helped to ease my mind at least. If there is time I may go there tomorrow to pray again.

August 5th – Rainy

Today I think it the worst day yet. The heavy air of anticipation is even worse than before. I saw Arashi-san Talking with Hatake-san this morning before he left, and Hatake has been staying very close to me. It's been raining since last night, so I curled up and read for the morning until lunch. Then I just couldn't take the heavy feeling anymore and I decided to come back here and write. Hopefully it will help some.

I'm sure I'm just overreacting to things, letting the emotions of everyone else get to me. Kohaku-niisama always said I was far too sensitive to things for my own good. I suppose that can be ba

August 5th -

I know now what everyone was anticipating but wouldn't tell me. The village is under attack now, the Cloud ninjas are attacking us, even as I write these words. I think I've gone beyond the point of shock. I can't let the other villagers see me shaking or frightened. I am the Hokage's wife, and while he is out fighting they are looking to me to be strong and calm. I understand this, so I'm working hard not to let my feelings show. But I need to get the emotions, the events out, so I will put them all here and release them from my heart before it eats away at me too much.

The windows of the house burst, I'm sure it was one of the enemy's attacks. I got knocked out of my chair and I'm a little bruised from it, but in comparison it hardly seems painful. When I looked up, I saw one of the cloud-nin standing over me, but before I could move Hatake-san was there. He yelled for me to take cover, and I crawled away. I barely managed to grab the diary has I went, it had landed near me or I wouldn't have tried to get it. I remember running through the house, thinking just that I had to get out. I don't know what I thought I would do after that, but all I knew was that I needed to get out of the house before more windows broke.

I ran into Arashi-san as I bolted through the door, I didn't know it was him at first and I'm afraid I started screaming again. Then I felt arms wrapping around me and I heard his voice telling me to calm down, that I was safe. And I did feel safe when I felt Arashi-san's arms around me, holding me like that. I know I was shaking, Arashi-san must have thought I was scared, well more scared than I truly was. It was just the shock at first, and with him there, I think I was able to calm myself more.

He led me away from the house, and it was the first time I got to see what had happened. There was smoke come from different directions, where they must have breached the walls. It was frightening, but in a strange way I can't accurately explain, even in my head. I remember Otousama telling me as a child that if the capital city were ever to come under attack that everyone in the city was to take shelter inside Shrine of the Fox Spirit, but it was never something I thought would happen. An now I was seeing it here and it was frightening and awe inspiring and, I just can't seem to describe what it felt like to see something like that in person finally.

I suppose the closest I could come was the day they told me that Otousama was sick and he would die soon. It's one thing to know in an abstract way that your parents are mortal, its another to have it demonstrated for you, there's such a sense of shock to it that you can't seem to process it properly. That's what I felt when I saw the village burning in the distance, like I was loosing Otousama all over again.

Arashi-san told me that all the civilians in the village were going to take refuge in the shelters carved into the mountain and that I would have to go with them. He pointed to where some ninja were gathering up the other people from our small neighborhood together in a line. That was another sign that showed me how large the situation was, we were being evacuated and Arashi-san would not be there with me. Of course I knew he wouldn't be there, since as Hokage he has more important things than me to be concerned with. Still, I could feel the worry start to swell at the idea of him fighting out there and not knowing what happened to him. I suppose my worry and fear must have communicated itself to him, because he turned and smiled at me, kissing my forehead before he told me not to worry, that he would never be foolish enough to leave me a widow when I was still young and pretty.

I think I managed to smile for him before I turned and walked towards where the others were gathering. All the training I had been given back home suddenly returned to me when I saw the people's faces turn towards me. They were looking to me for strength and for stability, so for their sakes I could not let my own fear and worry show through. Even if it was only a facade, I had to appear in control and calm, and that had not changed from when I was a princess to becoming the Hokage's wife. I think that was also the first time I really saw the people of Konoha has my people. This was my village, my home now, and seeing it hurt, hurt me. I think it was that realization that made me force myself to remain calm as I joined them, doing my best to organize the citizens as they traveled along towards the shelters.

As we went, trying to get everyone to move as quickly as possible, there was a little boy who was crying by himself. He looked like he was only a few years younger than Hatake-san, but he didn't have the forehead protector of a ninja yet. I went over to see if I could comfort him in some way, since I'm sure he was scared by all of it. It seemed that both his parents were both off fighting and he wasn't sure what was going to happen to them. He was afraid he wouldn't get to see them again. He looked so small and scared, and after being around Hatake-san who tries so hard to be an adult, I was glad to see that children could still be children in a village like this.

I pulled him into a hug, trying to comfort him however much I could. I told him that even though he was worried, we couldn't stand around, that it would be better for his parents if they knew he was safe. I'm not sure he really believed me, but he nodded, and I took his hand in mine, leading him back towards where everyone else had moved on to. He said his name was Umino Iruka. When we joined with the others he wouldn't let go of my hand, and I didn't want to force him to be separated at a time like this.

There were other children there as well, the small ones, the ones who weren't big enough to become ninja yet, or who weren't considered eligible to be ninja. I tried to keep an eye on all of them, since children often don't seem to realize where trouble may come from, or what they do that might hurt themselves. There was another little boy that kept lagging behind as well, and I kept staying back to make sure he wasn't left, behind. We became isolated from the rest of the group. I hadn't even realized they had moved on, until the Cloud-nin found us.

I don't think I'll ever fully understand exactly out shinobi manage to move so quickly, or that I'll ever be able to follow it. One minute it was me, Iruka-kun and the other boy, then suddenly there was a taller man standing over us holding a kunai. I remember pushing the two boy's behind me, thinking I could shield them somehow from whatever might happen. I don't think that I'll ever forget the laugh that man had when he saw us. That laugh or his words and the look he had when he said them. He said that he had heard the Yondaime had a pretty young wife now, and he wondered how I would taste and, and other lewd comments I cannot bring myself to write down here.

I was terrified of him, truly terrified of what he might do to me, but even more about what he might do to the children and the rest of the people I knew were ahead. I told him that if he let the children go he could do whatever he wanted with me, so long as he didn't hurt them. I remember he laughed at me, but said that it was too good of a possibility to turn up. Even now, I feel sick remembering the way his eyes moved over me, almost like he was touching me. Before he could do anything though, two other ninjas appeared and they started fighting with him. I turned and grabbed up the smaller boy and Iruka-kun and ran towards where I remembered the rest of the refugees going. I'm sure the ninjas had told me to run, but I don't remember hearing it.

The others had reached the shelter when we finally caught up, and they ushered us inside before closing the doors. The little boy's family came running up then and took him, but Iruka-kun stayed with me. He's fallen asleep beside me as I write this. I should stop for now and find him a blanket and go see if anyone needs anything while we wait.

August 6th – Night

It's dark out and no one knows if the fighting is still going on or not. The only windows are very high up and no one can see through them. Night has fallen, and according to some people the midnight hour has passed. There's hardly any light to see by except for the little bit of moonlight coming in. I pray Arashi-san is alright, that he is safe and not hurt. I hope that Hatake-san and Rin-chan are safe as well, along with Iruka-kun's parents.

While we were waiting, Iruka-kun asked me if there was anything he could do to make his parents come back sooner. I told him he could pray to kami for their safety, and ask kami to watch over their bodies and hearts while they are out fighting. He looked confused when I said that, and I explained to him that kami was every where and in everything, and that we might not have a shrine with which to offer our prayers, we could still pray for the sake of those we loved. He nodded at that, then he asked if I would pray for my husband.

The question made me pause for a minute before I answered that of course I would. Still, I've been thinking about it ever since. I told Iruka-kun that we prayed for these we loved, and now I have to wonder if I've come to love Arashi-san. He's always so gentle with me, and kind as well. My heart always seems to beat more quickly when he's nearby, especially when we do things with just the two of us. I worry about him when he's not here, especially now. Is this love? I wish I knew, or that I had a better way to tell. Before I cam here, before I was married, I hadn't really thought about love, at least now romantic love before. I began training to be a miko when I was nine, and it was my life for ten years before I was wed to Arashi-san. I was happy and content in that life, but this is the first time I've ever wondered if maybe I missed out on something because of it.

August 6th – Cloudy

I feel as though I have seen more horrors in the past few days than I knew could exist. I feel as though I've become numb to it all at this point. I wish for this all to be over, or for it never to have happened. A young boy escaped from the shelter earlier, and many of us went out looking for him. I couldn't see much of the village, but what I did see was devastation. I could see smoke and flames in the distance and sometimes I thought I saw a figure moving in the distance but I couldn't be sure.

I searched for the boy through the woods near the shelter. I had hoped he wouldn't have gotten far, he was young, younger than Iruka-kun even, and I feared what might have happened to him if the Cloud-nin located him. I did find Itachi-chan, he was still close by, but where I found him...

I don't even have the words to describe it, the scene I found. It was a massacre, that's all I can say of the bodies I saw everywhere. And there, right at the edge was Itachi-chan, watching everything. All I can remember thinking that was that he shouldn't be seeing this, that a child shouldn't witness something like this. I remember running over and pulling him against me, trying to shield him from the view. I told him not to look, feeling his little body shaking slightly as I held him.

Somehow, we made it back without being spotted though I have no idea how we managed. Itachi-chan's family came and took him once we returned to the shelter. I managed to make it back to Iruka-kun before I felt myself start to shake again. Even Iruka-kun's presence was not enough to stop it.

Is that what all shinobi face? Is that what Arashi-san and Hatake-kun face? Is that what they've done? Now I can't help but wonder, would a child of mine have to face that? The thought sends chills through my body, and suddenly I feel an overwhelming longing for home.

I pray this will end soon.

August 9th – Humid

It's been so busy lately I haven't had time to write. Even now I'm afraid I may fall asleep as I pen these words. So much feels as though it has changed I barely know where to start now. The attack devastated the village, I've never so much pointless destruction. When they brought us out of the shelters, it was startling to see what had happened. I must admit that I felt lost at first, looking at the ruble, the tired shinobi and the equally tired civilians I had been with for so long.

In the end, I think I ended up following instincts and all of the training I remembered receiving at home. I tried to organize things, help get people settled in and rations set up for food and to keep families together while things are sorted out. That's still somewhat of what I'm doing, trying to keep things organized so that the chaos doesn't get any worse. I've been keeping the villagers organized and working on getting food rationed out as well the medical supplies that can be pulled together. The village will need everyone to be working together to recover from this. As the Hokage's wife, I am going to help in any way I can.

I haven't been able to see much of Arashi-san these past few days. We've both been busy, but I worry about him. I worry that he isn't taking proper care of himself in all of this. I know that my husband is strong, and no doubt he would find my worrying quaint, but I haven't help it. It's hard to be so helpless when those around won't let you help. Every time I see him, I'm relieved because it means he's alive and well, and then I feel the worry creep back up because I know he will go where I can't follow.

It's getting late, and tomorrow will be another busy day. I know its rather silly, given everything that's been happening, but I'm having the hardest time adjusting to the change in my clothing. For work like we've been doing a kimono is really not very practical. Rin-chan had brought me some less formal clothes a few months ago as a present. I hadn't worn them before but I pulled them out as soon as I was allowed to come by the house. I know its completely frivolous, but I can't adjust to being so, exposed. I know that in comparison to what some of the kunoichi wear the pants and t-shirt are rather conservative, but in my life I've worn either kimono or the hakama and haori of a miko.

August 13th – Hot

The village is slowly recovering now, more and more buildings are repaired every day, and steady shipments of food have been coming in as well. The Fire Lord has been very gracious in his help for the village, sending workers and supplies to help. I know some of this has also come from my homeland, and it gives me comfort to know that.

Arashi-san is still has busy as ever, but I'm getting to see him more often, even if it's just across a crowded room. He's been keeping the shinobi organized, making sure that they're still handling their missions and patrols as well as helping the civilians when they can be spared. I have to say, I never really thought that a jutsu could be used for anything other than destruction and death until now.

I've been busy myself, thought I'm working more with the civilian leaders now as opposed to in the beginning when it was about keeping everything going. I feel somewhat as if I've proven myself to the villagers during all of this. They look at me with respect now, not just the differential respect they would be expected to give to the Hokage's wife, but true respect. I've even seen it in some of the shinobi as well.

August 19th – Cloudy

I don't have very much time to write, I'm almost too exhausted to hold the pen. Things are slowly starting to become more normal. People are getting moved back to their homes, that still have them. The others are being moved to better temporary shelters while everything is rebuilt. I can start to feel hope moving through the village now. Even though there is still a war, people are recovering. I even got to meet Iruka-kun's parents today when they came to pick him up. They told me how grateful they were that I had looked after him this time. I could tell he was excited to see them again, and he would hardly let go of his mother's leg as they left.

August 21st – Breezy

So much has changed in just a few weeks, it's almost overwhelming at times. This was the first real day since the attack that I've been able to spend any significant time with Arashi-side, even if it was only for an official function. The Fire Lord came to see how the recovery of the village was going, and as the Hokage's wife, it was my duty to be there by Arashi-san's side.

Like all such meetings, it was filled more with political positioning and double speak than actual concern for the civilians. I know Arashi-san is concerned for his people, but I've no doubt the Fire Lord was merely trying to figure out how to use this to his advantage, most likely to make the village more subservient to him. In some ways, it's a more familiar world to me than that of the village shinobi. This was the sort of world I was used to, that I had been around in my father and brother's court. I would like to think that my presence is helpful in these situations, though I think that Arashi-san would be far too polite to say if it wasn't.

Mostly I just focused on calmly my worry about whether Arashi-san was well and healthy and had been taking care of himself when we weren't together. He looks very tired, but I know that's to be expected, given how busy he has been. I wish there was a way to convince him to get some more rest. I tried today, when the Fire Lord had retired to his rooms. He gave me a beautiful smile and wrapped his arms around me, resting his chin on my head. He said he couldn't rest until he knew everyone was as safe as could be.

My heart fluttered when he held me like that, and thinking back on it now, I can feel it start to flutter again. I can't help but remember Iruka-kun's innocent question when we were in the bunkers. Am I in love with Arashi-san?

August 27th – Warm

The month is almost at a close now, fall and the harvest are approaching. In everything that's been going on, I haven't had a chance to think about home, or what is going on there. There have been no letters either, but it's possible they have been lost. I need to sit down and sent a letter home to Kohaku-niisama, even if just to let him know that I am as well as can be.

Now that my mind has turned to that end, my chest gives a great pang and I wish I could be there again. Even if it is only a brief visit. I know that I cannot go home to visit now, there is still too much going on with the village for that. But perhaps, I will be able to convince Arashi-san to let me visit in time for the Harvest Festival. It may be a selfish wish to have in a time like this, but it is there anyway.

The village seems to have settled enough to Arashi-san to start coming home on more regular intervals, and he keeps saying he's going to have Hatake-san resume guarding me when he returned. After the attack they needed all of the shinobi they could find and that included Hatake-san. I've only had brief glimpses of him when he's either coming or going for a mission. He's seemed healthy enough, but I must admit I've missed his presence and worried about him.

It eases my heart to see things becoming more normal again. Or what can pass for normal in the village.


End file.
